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Downtown, the Unbound Magazine's Toast of the Town

Ubiquitous Rick | 1/10/2013

Mostly unattributed quotes with unusually salient relevance to something...

"Bankers really aren't smart people, so don't overthink their intentions."

"Bernanke owns all of the stocks and bonds in the market and he prints dollars.  How can we find a fair price when this is the case?  How can we find fair value when those dollars go to private banks like JP Morgan who manipulate other asset prices like gold and silver?"

"Booze. It's what's for breakfast."

"If you want a picture of the future, imagine a foot stamping on a human face forever." -- George Orwell, 1984

"Banking was conceived in iniquity and was born in sin. The bankers own the earth. Take it away from them, but leave them the power to create money, and with the flick of the pen they will create enough deposits to buy it back again. However, take it away from them, and all the great fortunes like mine will disappear and they ought to disappear, for this would be a happier and better world to live in. But, if you wish to remain the slaves of bankers and pay the cost of your own slavery, let them continue to create money."  ­ Sir Josiah Stamp, Director of the Bank of England (appointed 1928). Reputed to be the 2nd wealthiest man in England at that time.

"Driving their SUV, parking in handicap due to obesity, getting on their electric shopping cart paid by medicaid, loading up on garbage foods via their food stamp debit card and then farting as they pass by me."

"Of course, I do my own taxes and mastered in Avoidance at TAXFU."
"Making money is easy. Any idiot can make money. Keeping money is hard."
-- John MacAfee, on CNBC's Squawk Box, 12/14/12

"If the author is a male, he should turn in his penis."

"If there is one thing the last 5 years in this country has taught us is that honesty and playing by the rules is for suckers."

"Don't get me started on enumerating all the different groups of people who suck."

"A wise man does at first what a fool does at last."

"She fashions herself a diva, but she's a bit too skanky for that."


"By comparison, she makes intolerance look like a virtue."

"The herd feels it. They can see it in the failed businesses, rotting cities and bankrupt states. Entropy will not be denied. The collapse is on schedule."

--- Story continues below ---

There is a narrow place in the wall of extinction where you can squeeze through, leaving everything else behind. But even that is not the way out. It's just the other side of no way out.

"That's nice. I think I'll steal it."

"There's an upside to the Mayan end of the world. It cancels out the Zombie Apocalypse. No world, no zombies. #Winning."

"Collapse is progress.  Resistance is victory."

"Re-education camps open on January 2nd."

"A round is a terrible thing to waste."

"No, no, baby, don't press that button. That sends all the screaming back into the floor where the bats live. And then they come out in the daytime and fly into walls and die bloody deaths. We don't really want that."

"This time, Toto has rabies and Dorothy is a tranny."

"My wife is nestled quietly in the corner of the room, away from the beer can trash heap, with a seltzer bottle, a squirting lapel flower and a joy buzzer in her lap. She doesn't know it yet, but she's sitting on a whoopie cushion with a fart-sound-maker underneath. When she gets up, the room explodes."

--- Story continues below ---

"Chico Marx is said to have given a guy a check to cover his losses in a poker game at the Algonquin Hotel and told him not to cash it until noon the next day. When the check bounced and they guy came back to Chico, Marx said to him, 'I told you to wait until after noon.'
The fellow responded, 'I waited until five minutes after noon.'
Chico said, 'You were too late.'"

"You talked about the market and forgot to pimp your blog like everyone else."

"We're Zombies.  We constantly look for someone elses brain to devour, without realizing that it's our own brain that has turned into tapioca."

"I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies."
-- Pietro Aretino

"It was like falling down an elevator shaft and landing in a pool full of mermaids."
-- Hunter S. Thompson, on his discovery of Gonzo Journalism, from the Playboy interview published November, 1974

"We owe respect to the living; to the dead we owe only truth."
‹ Voltaire, 1785

"The Holidays are over. Let's Celebrate."
-- Fearless Rick, January, 2013

Copyright 2012, 2013, Rick Gagliano, Downtown Magazine. All rights reserved. Downtown Magazine is located in the Uinted States of America and is specifically affiliated with Rochester1.com. For more information, contact us here. Use of this site is for entertainment purposes only. Any references to or similarities of actual persons, places or events is strictly coincidental.